Did they tell you this about postpartum depression.

Being a mom is an amazing feeling, a wonderful experience, glorious...…this is how everyone I encountered before becoming a mother described motherhood.... it is not a lie it is just not the whole truth. There you go, already judging me as a bad mother for saying that. Motherhood is indeed amazing but it is also challenging and every child is unique so please accept that first. A majority of the women all over the world suffer from postpartum depression. However, only a fraction know the facts about it. Postpartum depression (PPD) is a mental health problem characterized by a great deal of emotional disturbance occurring after a major life-changing event(yes giving birth is a major life-changing event) with new and added responsibilities.

Here's the thing, PPD doesn't discriminate, you can be all alone without support after getting your baby and you won't get PPD and you can have a dozen maids and loads of support from family and friends but you get PPD. Soon after I got my baby, I had this nanny who was not aware of PPD and she told of this young lady who was constantly sad and she even refused to breastfeed her baby. She was disgusted and had no kind words for her. She actually called it stupid pride. I was quick to explain to her what the young lady might have been experiencing. I offered her material to read so could understand better. I could tell her she was not convinced that such a thing as PPD exists. During my postpartum period, I came across several people who did not know about PPD let alone how to deal with it.

PPD feels like a deep hole you fell into and there's no way up. It creeps up feelings of unworthiness as a mother you feel like everything you do is wrong(people who keep bringing up things you are struggling with as a new mom make it worse). It gets so dark you start wishing your baby away, you get so insecure about your mothering skills, your looks ,your ability to do things you did before the baby...It is a feeling of unworthiness that robs a woman of the ability to be joyful during the most amazing time. It is one of those feelings you can't fully comprehend or appreciate until you experience it. It doesn't make you a lesser woman or a bad mom

My good friend came to visit me and she mentioned that her sister-in-law Jess, had refused to have another child. I asked her how they had treated her during her postpartum period. She said that they visited her once in a while since she had a nanny and she was pretty aloof, and they corrected her and showed her how to take better care of her baby. listening to my friend I was sad for Jess because I recognized what her problem was. She seemed to have suffered from PPD hence the reason she was now scared of going through the experience again. If you have a friend, sister, wife, daughter or mother who has just had a baby watch out for the following signs: loss of appetite feelings of shame, anger, guilt severe mood swings withdrawal from family and friends no joy insomnia chronic fatigue lack of interest in sex suicidal tendencies overly quite
After delivering your baby you may find the presence of people irks you, you tend to stay indoors much, you make plans but cancel, you struggle to take care of yourself or you obsess on your baby. That ,is an indicator of PPD, depending on the severity of the symptoms you may need to get medical help( yes, medical help is an option because it is a medical condition and not an imaginary one)

If she has other kids who are older you can offer to take them away for a few hours and she can catch up on some sleep or chores. for spouses, you can offer to rock the baby and hang out with the baby for an hour or so while she naps. Research and understand PPD so that you are able to support her well. Offer help even before she asks for it. Erase the thought that; if she has PPD she was not ready for a baby, she is a bad mom, she has failed as a woman or she hates her baby. She actually loves her baby more than anything she's simply suffering from a mental condition that has rocked her hard. Avoid making comparisons of her mothering style to other people or to yourself. That is simply not the time.

I asked around and read many articles on this issue and here are some ways you can help a mom suffering from PPD: As a friend don't take offense if she wants to be on her own often. That is not the time to write her off as a friend. call her, check on her via messages don't take "fine " as an answer. Coax her to talk about her feelings and really listens. Visit her and help her do some chores never mind that she may have a maid/nanny. You just go polish her nails as you talk, or help her sort her wardrobe, or carry food with you and clean up after, It may feel like its dirty work or too time-consuming for you but remember if you are really her friend you will do it gladly. If she tells you how hard she is having it don't try to analyze why instead encourage her to talk about it and just listen without giving a pitiful or disgusted look. Pray with her and for her. As a spouse, don't judge her and compare her to other women(PPD happens to 1 out of 10 women)

Women who receive support from family and friends tend to heal better and faster. I could write on and on about PPD but I am not expert on the matter. I am simply being my sister's keeper by sharing what I managed to learn from my own experience and those of others.